Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
