my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
