9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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