woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
