That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
