I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
