I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
