OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
