1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You can't motorboat a personality
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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