im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
