I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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