they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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