went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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