where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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