Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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