dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
high people should be assigned attendants
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
bring money and cleavage
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
