So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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