You're a womanizer and a bitch.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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