I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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