I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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