so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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