your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
