I got chris browned last night
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
