found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
