i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
