Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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