i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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