It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
