I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
