pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
