he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
