Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
And then my night got REAL pukey
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
