like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
