I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
