it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
