the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
