how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
