But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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