We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
