One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
