I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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