sarcasm needs its own font
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just googled if crying burns calories
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
