Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
