My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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