Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
