I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
