i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
