i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Michael Bay diarrhea
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
