My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
