Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
